I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
