THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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