just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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