i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I have fence marks all over my body
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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