I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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