i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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