I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
