to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
