Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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