Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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