Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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