My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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