and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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