i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
