i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
