Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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