jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
