That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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