I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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