All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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