playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
