Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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