Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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