obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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