I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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