OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
