Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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