Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
do nipples grow back?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
