Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We had sex on a dog bed..
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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