I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
