this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize