You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
