My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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