enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
