Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
