Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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