i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
