So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
