your thong is hanging out like whoa
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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