TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
