Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
