wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
