The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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