PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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