yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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