I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
