I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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