Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
