It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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