I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
