absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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