Non-Jews are for practice
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
