4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
