dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
