Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i will never coherently bang her
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
