just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
