Taylor Swift is so right about you.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
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I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
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Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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