I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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