There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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