Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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