he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
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I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
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When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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