Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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