I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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